I am not sure that I believe that there is such a thing as "falling in love". And yes, my wife knows that I think this! (I DO believe in romance and passion and dating your wife and all that good stuff). I hear people talking about "falling in love" and "being in love" all the time and it leaves me frustrated. I hear single people rationalizing stupid decision because they are "in love". I listen while married people tell me that they are just not "in love" anymore. What the heck is that supposed to mean? I think that this way of seeing love is stolen fresh out of Hollywood and off the radio and it's fake.
Falling in love? Makes it sound like you just sort of trip and accidentally land in a big fluffy pile of love. Yeah, ok, right (read sarcastically). I do not believe that real love is discovered one day by accident, but that it is lived out every day on purpose! Truly loving your spouse is shown through years of strong commitment, sacrifice, integrity and faithfulness to the promises you made. True love is not an emotion, a feeling, a goose bump or physical arousal. It is waking up everyday and loving your spouse the way that Jesus loves you. And then doing it again tomorrow. Whether you FEEL like it or not. True love is not based on butterflies and thrill, it is based on doing life with integrity even when those things are gone....and loving doing it!
Here is my personal opinion of what "falling in love" means:
- We just met.
- We have probably been together less than 6 months.
- I am passionately attracted to them and wanna fly when they touch me.
- We have not started fighting yet.
- This feels more thrilling than the other person I was with.
- It's great to finally feel what they feel in the movies and on TV.
Single people: Wait one year before you determine whether you are "in love."
Married people: Do not chase a Soap Opera love story for your marriage. It is not the way it is nor should it be! If you are getting "bored in your marriage," there are a lot of great things to do to liven it up. Longing to "fall in love" again and finding that somewhere else will ruin your life, not liven it up!
What are your thoughts on this? Leave a comment.