Saturday, February 28, 2009

What I appreciate in a friend

Friends have always played an important role in my life. Connecting with several friends this week have reminded me of the blessing that they are. Here are some of the things (most special to me) that I appreciate and look for in a friend:
  1. Fun! I want to and need to laugh, cut up and carry on with a friend. I feel like I have to be serious too often in my role. I need the therapy of good laughs with good friends. We even laugh at things we probably shouldn't. Oh well. I'll grow up one day.
  2. Real! Can say whatever about whatever. There is no untouchable territory. We do it in love, but we do it! The best friends that I have will say what they think without filters or fake.
  3. Integrity! Pastor or no Pastor, integrity matters to me. I will have friends that are who they say they are and do what they say they'll do. If there is no integrity, there is not trust and there will be no relationship worth working at.
  4. Have a pause and play button. For me, a friendship must be able to pick up where it left off. We may need to hit pause....and then hit play again in 18 months. (precisely what my buddy Tim and I just did this weekend). Contrary to some people's opinions, I do NOT believe that time apart MUST equal drift apart. A real friendship will be able to resume when you reconnect.
  5. Guilt Free. I cannot do friendships where unmet expectations lead to guilt. If I have to call you, do this or do that to avoid your guilt trip, we aint gonna be too tight for too long.
  6. Pure Motives. I do not appreciate people wanting to be my friend because of my position. You'd be surprised how many people want to be overly friendly just because I am a Pastor. I'll pass. I want you to be my friend because of my person, not my position.
There are more...but these are certainly some qualities at the top of the list for me.

What are a few qualities that you look for in a friend?

4 comments:

Anonymous said...

AWhat do I look for in a friend? Look in the mirror--someone like you.

Pastor Noah said...

Why thank you!!

Julianna said...

I think it's awesome that you reposted this. You originally posted this on the day that Brandon and I got married, and we weren't even friends then. Reading it now makes me so thankful for friends like you, and that new friendships can be made in even a short period of time (cuz 2/28/09 really seems like forever ago and yet no time at all ago).

Noah said...

Oh wow, Juli! How cool! Thank you for your meaningful words. You all are so special to us.