Want to do some great reading? Read the last 8 chapters of the book of Acts. This is good stuff, man! Paul is an amazing example of what it is to be lost, found, transformed and sold out for the mission of Jesus Christ (while facing all the struggle that comes along with that)! Something BIG struck me this morning. Paul had many struggles and opportunities to give up and throw the towel in, but.....
Paul was too sold out to be a sell-out!!
I urge you to spend time in the word of God. Let it shape you! I know that some of it is hard reading, but you can gain energy from other parts that are thrilling to read. Hey, and try the Message translation of the Bible. You may find that you get it easier.